Messages in a bottle: gaining wisdom

Over the past few months, I have been going through a metamorphosis. I even cut my hair, something I vowed to not do again.  While growth is slowly happening, it is happening. In a few short months God willing I will be 33 years old seriously and I have come to accept a few things as fact.

#1 Sometimes you have to meet people where they are
Not all of the people in your life are on the same level as you. Some of them may be ahead of you in the game or as if often the case when you come to this decision way behind you. If the person is worth continuing a relationship with, you have to accept them for who they are and K.I.M. They are who they are and chances are they won’t be changing. If it means that you deal with them for certain things so be it. Stop stressing who they are and focus on who you want to be.

#2 The grass is NOT greener on the other side
Folks always want what they don’t have because someone else has it and told them that it was grand. Only in fairytales is this true. Rather than trying to keep up with everyone else, try keeping up with yourself. One person’s version of happiness will not be yours. Your homegirl may be living on cloud nine with her picket fence and the likes whereas you may be miserable. If it meant for you to have it than God will gift it to you. Stop stressing and let God bless you in His own time in His own way.

#3 It is okay to worry about self
As the oldest child, whether on purpose or not, it was beat into me sometimes literally that I had a responsibility to look out for my younger siblings. In college, worrying about others cause me problems. It is probably one of the reasons why I am a hypochondriac self-diagnosed. I have come to accept that worrying does no one any good. Rather, when faced with a problem the best thing to do is take it to God. And if you are going to worry so much about someone else make sure that you are exuding that much worry over self too. No one is more important than you.

#4 Paying it forward is a must
“To whom much is given, much is required.” Those words should be a part of your daily mantra. While charity begins at home, it should not stop there. Charity can be as simple as giving up your seat on the train. The truth is that if everyone had the mentality to help someone else we would not see such high levels of poverty. Give a little and receive a lot.

#5 Eat, Pray, Love
The movie was excellent and should be the guide to life. Food nourishes the body. Prayer nourishes the soul. Love nourishes the heart. Together all three of these things make you a stronger person. You should try it.

#6 Actions speak louder than words
While you may not have meant anything by your actions that may not be another’s impressions. While God judges us by our intentions us mortals inly have the ability to judge our actions and those speak louder than words. It is not your intentions to make someone feel like they don’t matter…speak to them and let them know. Wars have been started because someone thought something and no communication occurred. Always think before you act. Wear that other shoe.

#7 What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger
The Almighty promised us that He wouldn’t put a burden on us greater than we can bear. Of course, it seems like our load is heavy and we can’t go on. Worry not, He will get you through whatever troublesome journey you are on. Have faith and He will see you through. Think Footprints…Through difficult times He is carrying you.

#8 Treat yourself
As women, we are trained from the womb to do for others yet we fail to do for ourselves. Make sure to make time to get that pedicure. Better yet, go for a message and let Calgon take you away in the form of fingertips. Buy a new outfit. Something pretty and flirty. There is only one of you. Make sure to take care of you.

#9 Patience is a virtue
While things may not come when you want it, they always come when you need it. Have faith that when it is your time you will get what you need. Remember that sometimes what we want is not what we need. We should always trust the Almighty to give us what is best for us.

#10 Forgiveness is for you
Forgiving someone is not the easiest thing to do but it is the best thing to do. Holding on to disappointment, hurt, anger is tiresome and toxic. Rather it is best to forgive the one who has wronged you and K.IM. Your body will appreciate it. Besides, just because you have forgiven them does not mean that you should forget. You don’t even have to continue being in their life.

It is amazing what you come to grasp as you get older. The funny thing is that a lot of it was shared with your younger self yet you refused to accept it as truth. Realizing your own truths is a part of growing up. What truths have you realized?

Thought for the day: “Wisdom does not come with age, it comes with mistakes made.” ~ Joshua Neal Harty

Smooches,
Divine

Summer time offenses: What not to do ladies

Although, we have had some shaky days, the weather is getting nicer. With warmer weather comes a different wardrobe. Over the past few weeks I have seen the worst faux pas. I mean really my head is spinning at the one’s I have seen. Now I am no fashion expert but really some of the things that I have seen are just no bueno to the tenth power that even a novice such as myself should know better.

Rule #1 Please wear proper fitting underwear

Yes I said it. Grown folks are wearing smaller panties then what their big butt requires. It is not sexy to be at a stoplight digging out your wedgie. As a matter of fact it’s gross. You need to be in the corner doing that and clearly you need a bigger size. Please handle that.

Rule #2 Pantyhose are not meant to have holes

For those of you who like torturing yourselves with pantyhose during the warmer months, God bless you. I ditched mine in March. I HATE 😖 them with a passion and wouldn’t dare wear them now. But hey some of you love them. Unless they are fishnets (I love those but gave them up too) having holes in them is not a fashion statement. It looks tacky. If you are trying to stay cool you may want to ditch them. Trust me, you will look a lot classier.

Rule #3 Can we say pedicure

Personally, I continue my pedicure regimen even in the winter months. Best believe that no man wants to feel feet as rough as the hair on his legs. If I can’t get to my technician, Martha at Sufu Nails I have all of the tools in my shower. You will never catch me like the chick in the episode of Martin where Sheneneh had to get down to serious business. Please make sure that before you put on those sandals your feet look presentable.

Rule #4 Did you forget your bra

Ummm maybe you didn’t realize it but your boobs are not sitting straight up on your chest. They really do need some support. Nobody wants to see you flapping in the wind like a kite. Please put a bra on.

Rule #5 Do I see flubber I mean stomach

Unless you have a flat stomach just because it is warm does not give you license to be exposing all of that skin. I vomit inside of my mouth and almost on them every time I see someone exposing stomach that they shouldn’t be. If it hangs over your waste band that means that it should be covered.

Rule #6 Are your feet hungover

Girls in to small shoes look stupid. Your heels should not be running over the back of your shoes. Your toes should all fit under the straps. If they don’t that means that they don’t fit. Please let them go. Give them away. Burry them in the backyard. But please DO NOT ever wear them again.

I’m sure that there are more rules out there but so far the violations that I have seen so far fall under the six that I have given. What fashion crimes have you seen that need reporting?

Thought of the day: “Elegance does not consist in putting on a new dress.” ~Coco Chanel

Smooches,
Divine

MenuSkip to contentHomePost navigation← Do you need Plan B…Giving is good for your health: The “Help Robinson” Cause

Now if you are following me, then you know that I ENJOY community service. When I accepted an award back in January, a part of my acceptance speech was, “To whom much is given, much is required.” I live my life in service… Read more at Maliyka is health,

The conundrum of believing

  I am convinced with a doubt that the most religious often times tend to be the most wickedest. I am also amazed at the amount of people who sit around and try to debunk the theory of religion. Here is the thing, I sin. I am a sinner. I have sinned. I try to live my life and say on the straight path but sometimes, I slip, stumble, flat out fall. Yet I get back up, dust myself off and try again. I can only be me… no one else.

I love my blackness but the reality whether anyone wants to accept it or not is that being black will not get me into heaven. God will not stand around saying, “Oh you are fist pumping in the air black enough!” Nope…rather He will be looking at my integrity. What did I do while I was on this earth? How did I do it? Everyone is entitled to their opinion but real talk, I am  going to say what no one else probably will. You are foolish if you don’t believe that a higher power greater than any science does not exist. I am sure that nothing I can do will convinve you otherwise but I can promise that you will learn and the learning will come at a price. God is not menat to be understood. he is God and greater than us. Rather do as He commands and move on. Your life and sanity will be that much better for it.

To the people who stand on their soapbox and speak of religious talks like it is a full-time job…be quiet. Hypocrisy is a serious sin. And it makes you look stupid. Do as I say but not as I do is the most asinine way of living. It makes no sense. Stop looking down on everyone. As a matter of fact, focus on your own dirty laundry. Did you sin today? Have youe sinned in the past? Will you sin tomorrow? Unless you are perfect, chances are you should be speaking to yourself when you are quoting Bible/Torah/Qur’an verses. Do you even interalize what you are saying or are you just talking because your lips can move?

Wors of wisdom: Passing judgement, you n*ggas second-guessing Beans Cause you don’t eat swine make you Mu’min Dog you know a couple of suras, out of the Que’an I guess you all on your din and I ain’t on mineStop that Akki.” ~Beanie Siegel “This can’t be life”

Smooches,

Divine

My Alter Ego…

So yeah, I have an alter ego. I mean doesn’t everyone. Not to worry. There is nothing crazy about my alter ego. She doesn’t drop down from the ceiling or swing on poles.  And no she’s not a bankrobber althhough she would love to have more money to save the world shop. Actually, she is really a decent person. She has a degree more like 2 and working on a 3rd. She is gainfully employed but looking for a new job. All in all she is a wonderful person if I do say so myself.  Her name is Maliyka. You should check her out at www.maliykaishealth.com where she chats it up about health related issues.

If my alter ego  is not your cup of tea, feel free to stick around here. This version of me, is bound to be quite exciting. I have been going through a lot of things these past few months and started writing poetry again. Up until a few months ago, I hadn’t written a lick of poetry. I have even wrote a few songs. The last time I wrote a song my age had teenager in it. Either way, stick around. The new and improved me or so I’d like to think is bound to make you laugh, cry, shake a tail feather you get the point.

Until then…Be well

Smooches,

Divine

Terms Defined

 

“What’s the difference between a wifey, a one nitey, and a cut buddy?”

That was the question that I received via text  this past Saturday morning at 10:46 a.m. The first thought that ran through my mind was, WTF kind of question is this, this early in the morning. After I read the question a second time, I realized that since I was walking the streets I do that sometimes too bad it has yet to bring in extra cash I could not give a dedicated answer at the moment truth be told as I am writing about the question I still haven’t answered the question. Now to the up on game chick, the definition of each of these roles should be obvious. As a matter of fact, you may have played the position of at least two I plead the 5th for reasons that I may incriminate myself. I would be mean and say that the person who asked me, clearly is not an up on game chick but to be fair she did admit that she had her own opinion No clue why the hayle she is asking me for then.and was waiting for me to share my opinion before we began to dialogue. Regardless, of whether the person who of this question knows the difference or not, the fact that she even asked if reason enough for me to discuss it. So here it goes. My take on the most common roles of American women.

Wifey: This is not to be confused with wife. I don’t give a damn that the first four letters spell “wife.” Wifey, is some one that a man could see himself being with. By being with, I mean committed. Point blank, you are his main girl but rest assured you may not be his only girl.

Cut buddy: My girls and I refer to this as a recyclable. Some of you may know it as the F*ck buddy.  This is old reliable. Truth be told as long as you are willing to spread it wide he will be there.

One Nitey: I mean really, this should be self-explanatory. If a dude labels you as such know that he never expected to hear from you and you are jeopardizing his relationship with the wifey. You was supposed to a smash and go never to be seen again. I suggest that you lose his number because this will not end well for you if you pursue it.

If you are cool with being any one of these, there is nothing wrong with it. There is a time for everything. It is possible for you to start as a one nitey and move all the way up. It’s pretty hard to do 95% accuracy and more than likely you will fail die trying. If none of these roles are for you, I suggest that you be up front. Say what you mean and mean what you say of as my grandma would say, “Straight talking fi straight understanding.” If they are really into you, he will make it happen or create a damn good lie. Either way, if you like it than pumpkin I love it.

Smooches,

Divine

Message to the hated

It took me a long time  to write this particular post because, I had to think about whether I wanted to touch on the issue. There may be some who feel I am taking shots but trust me i am not. Whoever you may be, know that you don’t revolve in my world although, I may revolve in yours.

Over the past few months, I have constantly heard the phrase pour out of folks mouths like water does a faucet…”They are hating on me.” Each time, I have had to look at them, scratch my head and end up confused as to what they have that is being hated on. More often than not the one spitting that phrase like the next rap lyric is referring to a male friend, boyfriend, significant other, fiance, dare I say her husband. I promise you, 99.9% of the time the person whom they are referencing isn’t worth ish and truth be told that one would think so, leaves their state of their mental capacity in question.

While, I have heard this word tossed around for different scenarios there is one scenario that it is used for more frequently than others. That’s right…RELATIONSHIPS. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard a chick tell someone that  they are just hating because, they don’t have a man. Now if you are like me, the statement in itself makes you laugh. you laugh even harder when you see their man. Dime piece he is not.

Sometime ago, while having a conversation with someone they mentioned that they had not disclosed some information because they had a lot of haters. Now I can’t affirm or deny just who is hating on them. Rest assured it wasn’t me. Rather then get into it with said person, I shared that sometimes what we think is hate is actually concern. For the  pessimist who is wondering just how the two can be related, it’s really not hard. When it comes to men or women for that matter, the “hating” comments start coming full force when the person in question just isn’t it. More often than not, they are more headache and heartbreak than goodness. Their history is so entangled that it will still look tangled when unraveled. Simply put, they ain’t SH*T. More than likely they will never be SH*T.

History always has a way of repeating itself. Of course you (the one being hated on) fail to see that your alleged hated piece is a pot of gold at the end of the tunnel. You have gotten caught up in the fairy tale that whatever glitters is gold. You have hyped yourself up to believe that you have super powers and can turn a hoe into a housewife or teach a dog new and improved tricks. You set your heart to believe that you loving them will make everything alright. Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids. There is no magical incantation that can do any of that. Abracadabra won’t work in this instance. Unless said person is willing to change they won’t be changing and in the end, you will be holding the shorter end of the stick. Hating should be the least of your worries. You may want to pay attention to whether you are acting out of desperation. Is being in a relationship that important to you that you would ignore obvious signs. Are you deluding yourself into thinking that your tarnished silver is really glittering gold?  Ask yourself these questions before you convince yourself that someone is hating on you. If your answer is “NO” chances are it’s not hate one is feeling towards you rather pity. To them the writing on the wall is quite clear. Your dime piece is really a shiny penny.

For those of you who really do hate and none of the above applies, know that envy is one of  the  7 deadly sins . Hating on folks for trivial matters is so unproductive.  Marion Anderson said it best, “You lose a lot of time hating people” and as they say, time is money and I need more.

 

On that note….

Smooches,

Divine

 

 

 

An Open Letter to the Georgia Board of Pardon & Parollee in Memorandum of Troy Davis

Dear GA Board of Pardon & Parolee Members:

Moments ago, I came across a disturbing report via Reuters. Given that the media is prone to reporting untruths I pray that it is indeed just that…untrue. On September 21, 2011 at 11:08 P.M., you allowed the murder of Troy Davis even though the evidence proving his guilt was no longer credible. Today, I happened to read an article from 2008  that in my opinion showcased just why the hypocrisy of your board as well as the justice system in this country. It was written that  in 2008, after his lawyer conveyed his remorse and blamed his action on the usage of an illegal substance you determined that Samuel David Crowe  should no longer receive the death penalty. You failed to apply the personal responsibility clause to Samuel’s case. He personally chose to use drugs knowing the mental status changes that would result yet he knowingly used them , therefore he is responsible.

There is no need for me to go into why it was your moral and civic duty to grant Troy a pardon. By now you should have heard it all. As a matter of fact, I am sure that you have heard it all yet, you didn’t think twice about committing that man to death. My question is, why? Why did you feel that it was okay to condemn a man to death even after the evidence against him fell apart? Why did you not do an investigation on your own to determine whether Troy really was guilty or if those who 20 years ago testified against him were credible? How is it that you granted clemency to a man who pleaded guilty yet blamed his action on his voluntary usage of a controlled substance? These are only just some of the “why” questions that filter through my mind. I am sure that I will never understand.

I commend Troy Davis for thinking about your souls even while he was set to be killed. It is clear to me that God was far from present in your lives as you made this decision. If  He were, I am confident that you would have had made a more appropriate decision. Worry not though, your callous actions has sparked a nations outrage. As a nation, we are slowly not fast enough becoming tired of the system that is supposed to work for us taking advantage of their authority and ignoring what the masses want. You represent what is wrong with this country on so many levels. We are always quick to judge the practices of other nations as barbaric and inhumane yet this nation has exhibited some of the most barbaric practices since its inception. The lack of conscious that was displayed when it was decided to ignore the evidence regardless of how right or wrong it may have been proves the fact that this country was founded on evil and continues to operate on evil principles. From the moment this country’s forefathers landed on Plymouth rock plymouth rock landed on them they set the stage for the evil that takes place today. They destroyed the nation that existed and was thriving only to throw them little pieces of gratuitous tokens today.  They carted human beings from one country to another to use and abuse them. Stealing them from their native land, tongue and religion and audaciously invoking God’s name as its sanctioner. It is times like this when my pride in my country is diminished and I wonder how it would have been if the Native Americans from long ago had sent those lost individuals trying to start anew away from the overbearing Monarchy of England away from their shores? I wonder what would have happened if those Africans whose ancestral blood runs deep in my vein would have declined to trade with them and insisted that they leave their shores?

Know that God sits on his throne and watches us all. At the end of the day, He is the final judge, juror and executioner. There will come a time when we all have to stand before Him and be judged. We shall be judged on so many levels and found guilty on those same levels. There will be no pardon boards or questions of guilt or innocence because He will show the truth. Many people think that they shall only be judged on acts committed in their personal lives as opposed to their professional ones. I am confident in saying God forgive me if I am wrong that there will be no separation. As a servant of God we all have a responsibility to do right at all times. There is no separation. A wrong act is just that…wrong. Judge Mathias said it best, “This was without a doubt a Great miscarriage of justice.”  It was criminal that Troy was put to death and yes Georgia you do have blood on your hands. Know that no matter how many times you try to rinse it away, the stain will be forever present. You will have to live with your crimes and answer for it when we all go before our Maker.

Like Troy said  with his last breath, “May God have mercy on your souls. May God bless your souls.” Even at last moments among the living Troy had God in his mind and on his tongue. I wonder if he exist for you.

Sincerely,

Divine

The saga of 31

31 years ago, my mother gave birth to her first child. That child was me. For 31 years, my mother has been the sole parent to take care of my needs mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc. For 31 years, I have lacked all of the above from the man who participated in the act of creating me. Now some may feel that I am out-of-pocket for speaking the truth and nothing but the truth but hey, it’s my birthday, and I don’t feel the need to hold anything back.

For 31 years, I have listened to the excuses, the lies, the stories, the promises, the reason, the comments, etc. And for 31 years nothing has changed. he is still the man that he was even when he was in the house…an absent man. Some may think, that I am bitter. The truth of the matter is that, it has taken me 31 years to officially say, “Sire, go with God.” Some may want to play the, he is your father card but that man is not my father. You see a father involves more than ejaculating some sperm into a receptacle also known as a vagina. It involves, loving, caring, bonding, providing, etc. I can’t be expected to acknowledge someone who did none of the above…not even the bare minimum. While there may be some who choose to give him his just due on the basis that it was his sperm that helped to get them here I choose not to give him that blind allegiance. While, I will never blatantly disrespect him I can not and do not respect him for he is a man who failed for 31 years to take care of h is responsibilities…namely me.  I am a fatherless child.

In my 31 years, the ones who showed me the things that I needed to know in this life were my mother. I am all that she is. With the mercy of God, her sacrifices are the reason why 31 years I am the woman who I am today. I also must thank the surrogate fathers who came at different points of my life and taught me all that my Sire didn’t teach me. If it weren’t for them I would not understand the ways of men.

While, I don’t know the future, I am sure that in the years to come, I will be saying 32…33….34…so on and so forth. I have learned not to expect anything and that way I won’t be disappointed.

On a happier note, HAPPY 31st BIRTHDAY to me. I am SO BLESSED and I give thanks to God for allowing me to be the woman who I am today at 31.

Smooches,

Divine

The Donald Trump Circus

If you have been paying attention to the news, you have had the opportunity to either hear or read about the circus of fools that Donald Trump is currently presiding over. If you are like me well then you are just as disgusted, insulted and pissed about it. You may disagree that President Obama is capable of leading America the Beautiful and that is fine. However, Donald Trump’s circus goes beyond that sentiment. He has insulted not only President Obama but also you and me. Here is a man who literally born with the proverbial silver spoon in his mouth and believes that rightly so only he is entitled to the best that life has to offer. How arrogant of him.

If I were naive, I would say that his sentiment is just his sentiment. The reality of it all is that, it is a sentiment that many Americans have. It is a sentiment that we a people who were brought forcefully to this country starting in 1619 and made to toll the lands that were not ours deserve nothing. It is a sentiment that has corralled the Native Americans like sheep onto reservations starting on January 31, 1876. It is the sentiment that perpetuates, a cycle of imprisonment filling this nation’s jail full of minorities. This sentiment is why we as a nation spend more money on the prison system then education and why as a first world country our educational system belongs in the sewers and the amount of uneducated individuals most of them being minorities are beyond high. Donald Trump is not the only one who believes in the ideology that a “Black” boy who came from nothing should continue to be nothing. Donald trump is echoing the words that pass through the many bigoted, racially driven Americans on a daily basis. Donald Trump had the balls to say it and for that, I do not fault him.

We as a Black people have become lazy and have a false sense of security. Yes, “legal” slavery is over. The physical act of slavery in America the Beautiful no longer exist (we know this to be technically untrue), however; many of us continue to be mentally enslaved. The truth is that there are many who would see us defeated. They could care less if we sit in a cell like pigs awaiting slaughter. They could care less if we remain uneducated. They could careless period. We continue to give them food for fodder and engage in acts that perpetuate the belief that we are in fact second-class citizens. We continuously kill our own self, disrespect ourselves, cheat ourselves, remain uneducated, etc. and yet we expect to be treated with the same dignity afforded our counterparts. Why should they when we do not dignify ourselves. It is not enough to say that the blood shed to make this country what it is was that of our ancestors. No we must do more. We should be doing more. Doing more involves the handful of people who are doing. It involves the masses doing more. It involves numbers in great force. It involves the likes of those who did sit-in at Woolworth and went on freedom rides. It involves those who stood up and declared that they were more than what society was trying to classify them as. It involves so much and we all have to do our part.

We have to stop allowing ourselves to be disrespected and mistreated. We have perpetuated a system where we are taken for granted. In spite of the disrespect that is thrown our way, we continue to support the wrongdoers. In the end, Donald Trump knows that in spite of whatever he says no matter how insidious it may be we, as a people will endeavor to spend our dollars on his products. We will gamble in his casinos, spray his colon on our bodies, and happily like a pig in slop wear his clothes. Why do we continuously support those who care nothing about us? When we support Donald and other like-minded individuals we are consistently, telling them either that we agree and accept it or that we are just too dumb to comprehend what it is that they are saying. We must STAND up for our RIGHTS. While we did not ask to be brought to this country the fact remains that we are here and stay here we shall. We must DEMAND that we are treated more than a second-class citizen for it is the blood of our ancestors that made what is considered America the Beautiful possible. We must not support those who have the unmitigated gall to speak out of their mouths disparaging comments that insult our ancestors and their struggles so that we could walk thing land “Free.” We must remember that our ancestors in Africa were KINGS and QUEENS. We must remember that because of US this nation has grown and flourished in the manner that it has. Not only must we remember all this and more. We must BELIEVE that it is true and act accordingly. In the end, we must do BETTER. Better than what we are now doing.

Smooches,
Divine