31 years ago, my mother gave birth to her first child. That child was me. For 31 years, my mother has been the sole parent to take care of my needs mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc. For 31 years, I have lacked all of the above from the man who participated in the act of creating me. Now some may feel that I am out-of-pocket for speaking the truth and nothing but the truth but hey, it’s my birthday, and I don’t feel the need to hold anything back.
For 31 years, I have listened to the excuses, the lies, the stories, the promises, the reason, the comments, etc. And for 31 years nothing has changed. he is still the man that he was even when he was in the house…an absent man. Some may think, that I am bitter. The truth of the matter is that, it has taken me 31 years to officially say, “Sire, go with God.” Some may want to play the, he is your father card but that man is not my father. You see a father involves more than ejaculating some sperm into a receptacle also known as a vagina. It involves, loving, caring, bonding, providing, etc. I can’t be expected to acknowledge someone who did none of the above…not even the bare minimum. While there may be some who choose to give him his just due on the basis that it was his sperm that helped to get them here I choose not to give him that blind allegiance. While, I will never blatantly disrespect him I can not and do not respect him for he is a man who failed for 31 years to take care of h is responsibilities…namely me. I am a fatherless child.
In my 31 years, the ones who showed me the things that I needed to know in this life were my mother. I am all that she is. With the mercy of God, her sacrifices are the reason why 31 years I am the woman who I am today. I also must thank the surrogate fathers who came at different points of my life and taught me all that my Sire didn’t teach me. If it weren’t for them I would not understand the ways of men.
While, I don’t know the future, I am sure that in the years to come, I will be saying 32…33….34…so on and so forth. I have learned not to expect anything and that way I won’t be disappointed.
On a happier note, HAPPY 31st BIRTHDAY to me. I am SO BLESSED and I give thanks to God for allowing me to be the woman who I am today at 31.