Message to the hated

It took me a long time  to write this particular post because, I had to think about whether I wanted to touch on the issue. There may be some who feel I am taking shots but trust me i am not. Whoever you may be, know that you don’t revolve in my world although, I may revolve in yours.

Over the past few months, I have constantly heard the phrase pour out of folks mouths like water does a faucet…”They are hating on me.” Each time, I have had to look at them, scratch my head and end up confused as to what they have that is being hated on. More often than not the one spitting that phrase like the next rap lyric is referring to a male friend, boyfriend, significant other, fiance, dare I say her husband. I promise you, 99.9% of the time the person whom they are referencing isn’t worth ish and truth be told that one would think so, leaves their state of their mental capacity in question.

While, I have heard this word tossed around for different scenarios there is one scenario that it is used for more frequently than others. That’s right…RELATIONSHIPS. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard a chick tell someone that  they are just hating because, they don’t have a man. Now if you are like me, the statement in itself makes you laugh. you laugh even harder when you see their man. Dime piece he is not.

Sometime ago, while having a conversation with someone they mentioned that they had not disclosed some information because they had a lot of haters. Now I can’t affirm or deny just who is hating on them. Rest assured it wasn’t me. Rather then get into it with said person, I shared that sometimes what we think is hate is actually concern. For the  pessimist who is wondering just how the two can be related, it’s really not hard. When it comes to men or women for that matter, the “hating” comments start coming full force when the person in question just isn’t it. More often than not, they are more headache and heartbreak than goodness. Their history is so entangled that it will still look tangled when unraveled. Simply put, they ain’t SH*T. More than likely they will never be SH*T.

History always has a way of repeating itself. Of course you (the one being hated on) fail to see that your alleged hated piece is a pot of gold at the end of the tunnel. You have gotten caught up in the fairy tale that whatever glitters is gold. You have hyped yourself up to believe that you have super powers and can turn a hoe into a housewife or teach a dog new and improved tricks. You set your heart to believe that you loving them will make everything alright. Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids. There is no magical incantation that can do any of that. Abracadabra won’t work in this instance. Unless said person is willing to change they won’t be changing and in the end, you will be holding the shorter end of the stick. Hating should be the least of your worries. You may want to pay attention to whether you are acting out of desperation. Is being in a relationship that important to you that you would ignore obvious signs. Are you deluding yourself into thinking that your tarnished silver is really glittering gold?  Ask yourself these questions before you convince yourself that someone is hating on you. If your answer is “NO” chances are it’s not hate one is feeling towards you rather pity. To them the writing on the wall is quite clear. Your dime piece is really a shiny penny.

For those of you who really do hate and none of the above applies, know that envy is one of  the  7 deadly sins . Hating on folks for trivial matters is so unproductive.  Marion Anderson said it best, “You lose a lot of time hating people” and as they say, time is money and I need more.


On that note….







About Divine*Pearlz

As one of my good friends, Carrie Pink (from says, I am a modern day superwoman. In the midst of me being a superwoman I am really down to earth once you get to know me. I love life and try to always live it to the fullest. I love God and try to always honor Him. I am service oriented after all I am a Finer Woman. I love health and have made it my mission in life to pursue degrees that will put me in a position to fight for better health policies for my people. All in all, I'm just me. You can take it or leave it!
This entry was posted in relationships, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s