Standards: That goes for the homeboy too

A few months ago, I was involved in a Facebook discussion with one of my dovely Sorors. Her question rant to me was, why don’t women hold their male friends accountable for cheating yet they are quick to call another man a dog? Now when you think about it, this is a pretty damn good question. It is so good that I decided to explore the phenomenon.

Now if you know me in real life than you know I don’t hold punches. Quite a few faces have been cracked by me including my mother’s no i am not beating my mother…I’m alive aren’t I because I believe in straight talking. The saying in my family is, “straight talking fi a straight understanding.” Needless to say, I’m not scared. I happen to have quite a few male friends who are what one would consider my road dawgs. We partake in real talk on a regular basis. So real that I have been with them every step of their decision to start a relationship or in some case end one. If I ever wanted to be a gossip girl I’d be rich with my exposé and quite frankly so would they I’m really a nice girl.  Even still, at 30 years old thank you in advance for the, “you look younger comments” I have a different outlook on life. Straight talk no bullshyt, I constantly get on my homeboys about their womanizing whorish ways.

While I believe that one should have the opportunity to experience different things including people there comes a time when all that sampling needs to slow down and eventually come to a halt. The fact is that all dogs don’t go to heaven and excessive sampling is a guaranteed way to ensure that your muzzled in hell. Granted, marriage is the only absolute commitment in the eyesight of God does not mean that you can wave your penis around like a white flag bagging everything in sight. There is nothing wrong with sowing your wild oats but it should never be in a manner that is guaranteed to hurt someone i.e. breaking her heart.

So if you’re not clear, all of my boys know how I feel about them dipping in to many pools at one time. My statement to them on a consistent basis is, “If you are planning to cheat on her before making her your girlfriend, don’t make her your girlfriend.” I mean seriously, how do you start a relationship with that negativity already implanted? I keep it real with my homeboys when their behavior disgust me i.e. cheating on their wife or long-time girlfriend. Let’s not get started about them lamenting to me about how it is all her fault. It is a quick stop right there moment nd I am all in their face wanting to know what their part was in the situation. Quite frankly, not only do I hold my homeboys to this standard. I also hold my brothers who are all younger than me to the same standards.

Now you can look at this from a different angle and be thankful for having a male whore friend as a sidekick. What better way to learn all of the tricks of the trade without having to be tricked. I’m not going to front. While I am SMH at them I have my pen and paper taking notes and let me say I have learned a whole lot. Who needs a Steve Harvey when you have friends?

If you can’t see the benefit of sitting by the sideline and watching your homeboy pursue relentlessly feel free to call him out. If he’s your homeboy it should all be love. While dudes are dramatic they are no way near as dramatic as girls and more likely to take your opinion and adapt to it. Keep in mind, he way not share his stories with you anymore but hey that is a price to pay.  At least he will know where you stand and be respectful of your feelings. Quite frankly, be grateful that he isn’t your man. Say your piece and leave it be. I’m sure the girls being played has a friend just like your homeboy and if they are not taking notes oh well….joke is on them. Next!!!

Smooches,

Divine