The replaceable moment


So if you haven’t heard by now the self-made relationship guru brother please Steve Harvey is having some issues of his own. If you haven’t heard I suggest you go over to YouTube and type in Mary Harvey. Let’s just say that her story is better than a skit in “All my children.” Personally, I am staying on the sidelines with this whole situation but I do want to take the time out to comment on one of the accusations.

If you ever listen to Steve in the morning, on several occasions he has recounted for his audience how he struggled before he made it big. He has sympathized with Tyler Perry when he admitted that he lived out of his car as a struggling artist because he too used his car as an address. What he never said was that his then wife, Mary was also living with him in that car too. Out of all of the accusations that Mary has been slinging this particular one hit home for me. Now honestly, I an’t say if this was really true. Quite frankly, I think the whole situation is plain fuckery but then again  I am of a different breed. What does bother me is the countless stories that I have heard and witnessed when there is that woman who stands by her man when he is struggling to make something of himself taking the good with ALL of the bad. She is there wiping his tears when he cries in the dark. She is the there at every point that is marked with a failure. She is his rock…his missing rib. Then BOOM he makes it big and in comes the problems and out comes his ASS!

Granted, I understand that sometimes people grow apart and as you mature you realize that what you thought you wanted is not what you need. I get all of that and I respect it 110%. It happens. What pisses me off is the manner in which your move-on mission occurs. Here is the woman who fed you your daily dose of courage. WHo protected your manhood from your own self-destruction. She was your biggest fan and number one cheerleader. She did backflips, leaps and countless other aerobics to support you as you endeavored to be great. She did without even when she could do without you. She sacrified blood, sweat and tears all so that you could reach your highest potential because she believed in you. When you finally made it big, she remained in your corner sacrificing herself to ensure that you stayed big and grew bigger. She was there when right smack dab in the middle of it all you believed that she no longer fit your image and you started treating her as if she didn’t matter. Still like the sacrificial dummy lamb she stood by you. She stood by you until you made the steps to remove her from your side to replace her. Go figure, she is replaced by someone who reaps all of the rewards of her sacrifice and you treat her as if she never existed. That is the part that pisses me off. How dare you!!

As I said before, replacing her is not my issue. Rather, it is the manner in which it is done. Lets keep it funky, her world is going to collapse regardless of how nice you are however; it can be done with a lot more tact than how it is usually done. When I look at these women who were victims of their man becoming larger than life I shake my head at the wonder of it all. The phrases, “In sickness and health” and “Til death do us part” become non-existent in situations like this. It is al about self and how you plan on satisfying self at all cost regardless of who may hurt or how you may look.

I’m not so naive to think that this is a males against females occurrence only. I can keep it 100 and admit that the roles can have been reversed. There have definitely been cases where the man stood by his woman while she lived out her dreams only for her to come home and say, he’s not hollywood enough. Regardless of who is playing the villain role it is definitely a one shot to the heart moment and heartless.

I say that all to say if I ever find myself in a situation like that I’m pulling out a piece of paper and a pen and writing up a contract that explicitly states that if he ever decides to be an ass and show his ASS the same way he struggled when I was in his corner is the same way he will be struggling when I leave said corner. It may be a love til death do us part but like Tina said, “Whats love got to do with it.”




About Divine*Pearlz

As one of my good friends, Carrie Pink (from says, I am a modern day superwoman. In the midst of me being a superwoman I am really down to earth once you get to know me. I love life and try to always live it to the fullest. I love God and try to always honor Him. I am service oriented after all I am a Finer Woman. I love health and have made it my mission in life to pursue degrees that will put me in a position to fight for better health policies for my people. All in all, I'm just me. You can take it or leave it!
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