Standards: That goes for the homeboy too

A few months ago, I was involved in a Facebook discussion with one of my dovely Sorors. Her question rant to me was, why don’t women hold their male friends accountable for cheating yet they are quick to call another man a dog? Now when you think about it, this is a pretty damn good question. It is so good that I decided to explore the phenomenon.

Now if you know me in real life than you know I don’t hold punches. Quite a few faces have been cracked by me including my mother’s no i am not beating my mother…I’m alive aren’t I because I believe in straight talking. The saying in my family is, “straight talking fi a straight understanding.” Needless to say, I’m not scared. I happen to have quite a few male friends who are what one would consider my road dawgs. We partake in real talk on a regular basis. So real that I have been with them every step of their decision to start a relationship or in some case end one. If I ever wanted to be a gossip girl I’d be rich with my exposé and quite frankly so would they I’m really a nice girl.  Even still, at 30 years old thank you in advance for the, “you look younger comments” I have a different outlook on life. Straight talk no bullshyt, I constantly get on my homeboys about their womanizing whorish ways.

While I believe that one should have the opportunity to experience different things including people there comes a time when all that sampling needs to slow down and eventually come to a halt. The fact is that all dogs don’t go to heaven and excessive sampling is a guaranteed way to ensure that your muzzled in hell. Granted, marriage is the only absolute commitment in the eyesight of God does not mean that you can wave your penis around like a white flag bagging everything in sight. There is nothing wrong with sowing your wild oats but it should never be in a manner that is guaranteed to hurt someone i.e. breaking her heart.

So if you’re not clear, all of my boys know how I feel about them dipping in to many pools at one time. My statement to them on a consistent basis is, “If you are planning to cheat on her before making her your girlfriend, don’t make her your girlfriend.” I mean seriously, how do you start a relationship with that negativity already implanted? I keep it real with my homeboys when their behavior disgust me i.e. cheating on their wife or long-time girlfriend. Let’s not get started about them lamenting to me about how it is all her fault. It is a quick stop right there moment nd I am all in their face wanting to know what their part was in the situation. Quite frankly, not only do I hold my homeboys to this standard. I also hold my brothers who are all younger than me to the same standards.

Now you can look at this from a different angle and be thankful for having a male whore friend as a sidekick. What better way to learn all of the tricks of the trade without having to be tricked. I’m not going to front. While I am SMH at them I have my pen and paper taking notes and let me say I have learned a whole lot. Who needs a Steve Harvey when you have friends?

If you can’t see the benefit of sitting by the sideline and watching your homeboy pursue relentlessly feel free to call him out. If he’s your homeboy it should all be love. While dudes are dramatic they are no way near as dramatic as girls and more likely to take your opinion and adapt to it. Keep in mind, he way not share his stories with you anymore but hey that is a price to pay.  At least he will know where you stand and be respectful of your feelings. Quite frankly, be grateful that he isn’t your man. Say your piece and leave it be. I’m sure the girls being played has a friend just like your homeboy and if they are not taking notes oh well….joke is on them. Next!!!




About Divine*Pearlz

As one of my good friends, Carrie Pink (from says, I am a modern day superwoman. In the midst of me being a superwoman I am really down to earth once you get to know me. I love life and try to always live it to the fullest. I love God and try to always honor Him. I am service oriented after all I am a Finer Woman. I love health and have made it my mission in life to pursue degrees that will put me in a position to fight for better health policies for my people. All in all, I'm just me. You can take it or leave it!
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2 Responses to Standards: That goes for the homeboy too

  1. Dollface says:

    I have awaited this topic for so long. I too have quite a number of male friends that are truly my homeboys. I am always in a rant with them regarding what they do or have done. Oddly its like many of us women are blessed to have a crystal ball like them to see what could be us, but we overlook what they are doing to only later in our situations subject ourselves to what they have done to another woman. My Dovely Soror and SISTA is so true and constantly on point. Thats why I love her to Jennah!!! But ladies hold no punches on your Bestie’s, brothers, etc. if they are wrong. Because remember you have to mind your company you keep. And if you tolerate wrong wrong shall come back to you…

  2. Divine says:

    I love you too!!.But yeah real world sometimes you gotta keep it funky with your friends and family the same way you would your enemies. Don’t allow their “good” status in your life to cover-up for the wrongs they may be doing. At the same time, don’t be a nag. Nagging won’t help them changes. Patience always works. Like I said, they probably have a homeboy or two partaking in the same behavior. If they are not notetaking shame on them *kanyeshrug*

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